Something new

my only wish is to be beautiful , slim , fit and cute . no more no less . thats all . what i have right now are maybe ugly , fat and maybe not cute . i have nothing right now . everyone keep talk back , they kinda curse me silently but i know they hate me . i'm not beautiful as they are . what i have right now is love and care from my family . any other than that is nothing , all i can hope is my family . im just tired with my life right now . but i don't want to give up just like this . so im taking my first step by working out to have a beautiful body . for about 1 month and a half i lose about 4 kg . but there is no different at all . maybe having a perfect life for me will never happen . i just wanted to give up . but mehhh . nothing can ever make me give up . so i continued my life as usual and still try to be perfect . maybe i have a strict personality . but you need to know me first and you will know the real me . that all . i will always tried to love all the people around me even i can't really show it .

dear grandma

just now , my grandmother just kinna sad , i see in her face . maybe my mom raise her voice to my grandma . cause my grandma mix all her medicine . my mom just want her to eat the needed medicine in certain time and the medicine so important for my grandma health . she walks in front of me and goes to her room and shut the door . that is the first time ever , i see her like that . i want to hug my grandmother , but i think its gonna be so awkward . i love her so much , im just a little bit ashamed to show the real feeling to person . all i can do is keep in deep in my heart . only Allah know how i feel to others . i can't tell from my heart by you can see from my face .